So here I am again, coming to you after a significant absence. Though my reasons this time are a bit more significant than just having a 'hard time' in the Spring.
On June 15th, my husband broke his pelvis. He was in the Tough Mudder Race and fell off a 12-15 foot wall onto his side, and his leg ball joint broke through the thin column of his pelvis on his right side.
Now, to some, this sounds really huge and scary, to others, there is the 'he will recover and eventually be fine' attitude. Both totally understandable, but when you actually live through it, when it is your strong and active husband who is injured in such an extreme way, it takes on a whole new meaning.
When my husband called and told me what had happened, he was waiting to be Flight for Lifed from Vail to Denver. I had no idea of his long term condition. The team in Vail was worried his femoral artery in his leg may have been severed. After I had called a dear friend to watch our kids, I called my in-laws and told them they needed to come get me so we could go to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital not long after my husband did. He was still being treated by triage and was lying in his bed, making jokes and getting hooked up to machines. He was doped up, which I am thankful for. Just ONE of the things I am thankful for. After a few more CAT scans, a surgeon came in and explained his injury, the type of surgery needed, and how long he would be immobile. I cried. I cried a lot. My husband is the provider. He is strong and active and 6-8 weeks of no walking was too much to bear, let alone 10 weeks with no work. I am a stay at home mom and I have no way to provide for our family. I mainly just cried for him. I didn't want him to have to endure this. It was what it was. My father-in-law was there and I felt he understood the gravity, and his comfort at the time meant the world to me.
My husband was moved to another room to await his official room. My in-laws decided they would not leave my husband alone, so that he would have an advocate. I agreed, and wish I could take shifts, but with having three kids, I just couldn't. I am so thankful they were there for him when I couldn't.
Luckily, my bestie drove 8 hours to come and stay with me and watched my kids so I could drive back and forth from the hospital, which was 40 miles away. Three long days, my husband had to sit on a broken pelvis before he got his surgery. On June 18th, my late mother's birthday, he got his three hour surgery, complete with a plate and screws in his pelvis. When the surgeon came to the waiting room, he told us everything went perfectly, then said that my husband should have died in the fall... That that kind of fall has a high mortality rate. That was the moment when I broke. My husband is my world, has been for 13 years. What would I do without him?? What would my kids do without him?? Just then, I had never been more thankful for his health, his life, his recovery... Because it could have been worse. And I knew that. But I still just wanted him to be happy and healthy. I wanted him home and interacting with me and the kids. I just wanted to be on the road to recovery. The in between made me insane.
He was up the day after his surgery. I came in a few days after to wash his whole body, because he still had mud EVERYWHERE from the race. I finally felt like I was helping. Making him feel better.
When he was able to come home, I stressed about the kids, the house, his comfort. I had some amazing friends who gave freezer meals and other things to make him comfortable. It was good. We were good. The kids were amazing, and they always helped. Even though I was running around like a crazy person all day, I was so happy. He was home, he was getting better, that's all that mattered.
Then he had to go back to work (about 6 weeks after the accident). I drove him for his first two weeks. I was worried about him driving, because he had to drive with his bad leg, but I knew it was important to him.
And now we are kind of
back to the routine. It's kind of back to the me with the kids and school and him with the work. But there is this lingering message in the life of parents and husband and wife... We cannot take our lives or our health for granted. You never know when life is staring you in the face saying "You could have lost the most important person in your life today." And that is HUGE. Not many people experience this. Some sadly experience the worst outcome, and some experience the in between. It is a blessing my husband can walk. It is a blessing my husband is alive. And there is not much else that can really make one wake up and say, TIME TO LIVE!!
I am still struggling with stress management, but I have made some changes already and things are heading in a positive direction. My husband no longer needs a cane. He can do most things, except heavy lifting. My kids and I are always there for that. But his 100% recovery won't happen until his 1 year anniversary.
It is strange, how I look forward to it. He is already doing so well. I think he will be stronger than ever by then.
No obstacle course races though. We're done with that ;-)
I am going to take this time to thank everyone who helped us, whether it was meals, child care, heavy moving, retrieving his truck, yard care, etc... I am just so thankful for the love and care we have gotten from so many. You are all amazing friends and family. It definitely helped me get through everything!
With that, I have to leave the main message I learned from all of this. You just don't know. You don't know when you are put in the position to be the provider, the strong role, the positive reinforcement. Just be that always. Because. You. Just. Don't. Know.
